Romantics

Thinking of Tying The Knot? 5 Tips To Make Sure You Stay Together

Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

Tip #1 - Continue dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That's why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

Tip #2 – Delay is often better

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.

Tip #3 – Always express your love

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they 'assume' their partner already knows what they're thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?

Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, "I just don't understand him/her." So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate's profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don't need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

Tip #5 - Answer the BIG questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married. I guess people think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or "I love you’s" will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other 'inside-out' BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

About the author:

Michael Webb is the author of “1000 Questions For Couples" the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more, visit: 1000 Questions For Couples

MaxHomeBits.com 5 Dating Mistakes That Women Make With Men

Great men are hard to find. So when you find one, don’t ruin your chances by making these deadly mistakes. Remember, attractive men have dated a lot of women so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong. Here are 5 things that many women do that blow their chances with their boyfriend, and how to avoid them.

Mistake #1: Sharing your feelings with him too early

Men love their freedom and independence – no mysteries there! So when you announce that you love him, it often sets off a trigger that you might be one of those “clingy types.” Remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual. Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind – remember that. Which brings me to…

Mistake #2: Trying to push it too far too soon

It’s natural to wonder about the nature of your relationship, “Does he want more? Or is this just a fling?” But remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. And if you don’t live together, cooking dinner or doing his laundry isn’t a good idea. A nice meal once in a while is okay, but don’t make it a regular thing. Yes, it’s true, many men are scared of commitment; but just because they don’t want it now, doesn’t mean they don’t want to settle down. They just need time.

Mistake #3: Being too available

You might think this is playing a mind game or being manipulative, but putting your best side forward is also manipulative. Why? Because it’s done to get a desirable outcome. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the man and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery. Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for him, no matter how much you like him. And remember, men love a challenge, so this actually works in your favor.

Mistake #4: Not being yourself

Men love confident women with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, women often try to guess how the man wants them to act and try to accommodate his mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. (And yes, men do this too.) In other words, they love her strength. It’s very attractive.

Mistake #5: Appealing to his sexual side too much

Believe it or not, it’s NOT make-up, dyed hair, pretty clothes or even nice shoes that attract men, not into a successful long-term relationships anyway! While “looks” is the obvious factor that seems to get an instant response from men, long-term success comes with finding a man who admires and respects you regardless of your exterior. If your man only likes you for your looks, then he doesn’t really love you.

So there you have it. The 5 big mistakes that women make while they’re dating men. Avoid these mistakes and you’ll dramatically increase the chances of succeeding with him.

About the Author:

Michael Webb's latest book, "Getting Him Back" provides you with a step-by-step plan to get your ex-husband back, help heal your marriage and even prevent a divorce. For all the details, visit the how to win him back website.

SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS

One of my wife's girlfriends had problems keeping the weight off, especially since her husband didn't care to exercise and could eat practically anything he wanted and wouldn't gain an ounce. Apparently, her husband didn't care too much about her being overweight, but it was an obsession of hers and constantly brought down her self-esteem and therefore, it adversely affected their marriage.

If any of us find ourselves in that situation (male or female), there are several things we could do. First, consider creating a fitness routine that you could do with your spouse. It could be tennis, golf, swimming, aerobics or whatever you would enjoy doing together. Even a 20 to 40 minute walk together after dinner would be extremely beneficial. Not only would both of you be in better shape, you would spend more quality time together.

Also, if your mate has a particular weakness for certain foods, it would be considerate of you not to indulge in them in front of him or her or to bring that food home from the grocery store.

Just because you don't have a weight problem (or even if you do), it doesn't mean you should eat chocolate cake in front of your sweetheart when you know it would be torture or more than he or she can resist.

It is not uncommon for many men to demand that they eat red meat and a starch (pasta, corn or potatoes) every night for supper.

If his wife desires to lose weight, it often means that she has to cook two different dinners - one for herself and one for the rest of the family. As many wives will attest, there is barely enough time to prepare one meal, let alone two. I am not advocating that one should have to eat carrot sticks and celery for supper, but merely to have understanding, compassion and a little bit of flexibility in the meals that are expected. If it means so much to you to eat a certain type of meal each night, you might try learning to prepare it yourself.

Most importantly is your attitude towards your spouse's weight.

Many people feel that if they complain, ridicule or embarrass their sweetheart about their weight, it will come off easier and quicker. First, the majority of men and women I know do not respond positively to that sort of tactic and often the reverse will happen

- they will actually gain weight. Secondly, there are many things we should try to change in this world. Your spouse's weight is just not one of them.

Next issue: Commitment Can Kill a Relationship?

Check out Michael Webb's amazing relationship resources on his

website: The Romantic.com

Women: 5 Ways To Save Your Marriage

Is your marriage in trouble? No matter how bad, there’s always hope and ways to turn your situation around. Here are five common ways to help create a better, more loving and harmonious relationship with your husband.

1. Handle arguments differently

Every marriage and relationship has arguments, but it's how you handle them that's most important.

At Junior High School, I said 'no' to drugs. At my wedding altar, I said 'no' to fighting. Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" anti-drug campaign was a huge success. Kids made a verbal commitment and a mental stance to avoid drugs before they were even of the age to be tempted. When they were introduced to drugs, they knew they could "just say no" and not feel alone.

Fighting is NOT harmless. It’s addictive and, if continued, is likely to cause irreparable damage. Certainly there are times when emotions get wrinkled, and the natural inclination is to blow your top. I sometimes have to bite my tongue so I don't say something I would regret later (since when is self-control a bad thing?) Having a naturally calm personality has admittedly made it easier for me to think before I speak than it is for some people. But that shouldn't stop anyone from trying.

2. How to make him listen

In most relationships, a polite and sincere request gets much greater results than if you yell, nag or complain.

For example, the other day Athena saw my bath towel on the middle of our bedroom floor. She said "you might want to hang up your towel or it won't dry out in time for your shower tomorrow." When my clothes pile up outside of the hamper, she sweetly says, "it would really help me out a lot if you put your dirty clothes in the hamper."

She was exhausted one morning and when Ashton (then five months old) began to stir, she turned over to me and asked if I wanted to "get up and have a little morning playtime with Ashton." That was a much nicer way of asking me to help her out than saying, "Why am I the one who always gets up early to take care of YOUR son? I think it is YOUR turn for a change." Athena always thinks of nice ways to ask me to help out or to stop doing something irritating.

3. Turn gossip and bashing into praise

No one's perfect. When wives get together and the conversation turns to complaining about “what their husbands do,” or male bashing in general, refuse to participate.

It shows that you respect and value your husband. For a man, few things are more devastating than to have his wife criticize him in front of friends. Instead, when a "gripe session" gets going, make it a point to start sharing some of his good qualities.

Usually, this alone will steer the conversation into a positive direction and help your friends to also praise their husbands -- which in turn helps them to respect and appreciate them more too. Knowing that my wife refuses to belittle me in front of friends makes me love and respect her even more.

4. Change your routine of life

After a few months or years, most couples get into a comfortable pattern where they always do the same things. Same dinner / movie dates, same sexual routine and same behaviors. You can rekindle some of that magic and keep your marriage magical by simply paying attention to these three important areas:

1. Go on creative dates - agree to go out and do something you've never done before once every week, fortnight or month. It doesn't really matter what you do, but it's important to commit and do this constantly. Want some ideas? Go to a winery, museum, art gallery, carnival, the beach, or have a picnic in a park.

2. Spice things up under the sheets - try a new position, technique or location. Wear some nice lingerie or introduce some new toys into the bedroom.

3. Change the norm - buy him a gift just to say “I love you," give him a surprise quickie before work, a nice massage, set up a scavenger hunt that shows how much you care about him with a gift at the end.

5. Face your money issues and debts

One of the biggest problems facing couples today is the huge amount of debt they bring into their marriage. Not only are there more divorces, couples are calling it quits much earlier in their marriage than ever before. Here are some ideas to get your debt and money issues under control.

1. Sit down and prioritize all aspects of your family budget together. Only when you analyze your spending habits will you fully realize where you are wasting money. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your goals and dreams.

2. Realize that frivolously spending money can be a sign of disrespect for your marriage and mate.

3. If you would like a bigger diamond ring or a fancier car, ask yourself why.

4. Take a quick inventory of all the items you own but could really live without. Consider how much you paid for them. What if you didn't buy those items and had all that money in savings instead? Would it make a difference in how you view your job, your family and your future?

About the Author:

Michael Webb's latest book, "Getting Him Back" provides you with a step-by-step plan to get your ex-husband back, help heal your marriage and even prevent a divorce. For all the details, visit the how to win him back website.